Plan to find Beverly for dinner ..... but my mother is cooking dinner .... so never find her ..... was at home the whole day ..... woke up at 1pm .... den watch TV .... play com ..... watch DVD ...... and play com again .... feel like no life ..... and my head is killing me again .... it hurt me non stop ..... the pain is very pain ...... the pain make me dun feel like do anythings ..... just want to sleep on my bed ...... i just now found out that the guy i love his birthday had over ..... 14 march ..... i feel so useless .... i keep saying that i love him i love him .... but i dun even know when is his birthday and what is his surname ..... and how is his life ..... i only can know how is his O level result thru MY FRIEND ...... i feel very very ...... i dun even know how to use word to describe my feeling .... i only know that i can love someone more den 1 year ..... and i going to love him for 1 year already ...... and i will make this 1 year to many many year ...... because i swear .....

Yesterday night went to DXO with Dave only ...... stone there with Dave ..... both of us like emo emo ..... never talk much ..... because i am so tired and i keep thinking of things ..... should i find a guy by feeling or by how rich is he and how handsome is he ...... i think i am too tired to find guy by using feeling .... and i know no guy will really love me .... because i .... i ..... ARG DUNNO LA ...... for me .... now family is more important ..... guy are ass hole ...... anyway went to visit Gabriel and Issac ..... ha ha they are very hp yer lor ..... keep run around ..... went i was about to leave ...... Gabriel run and hug me ...... he say " Jie Jie dun go, play with Gabriel " .... Waaa ~~~~ i feel like cry ...... he is the first person make me feel so happy ..... so that what make me feel that i no need guy ..... i am alone ..... i only need to be strong .....

Got woke up by Paulyn phone called ..... asking me want to go out? ...... after bathe got 5 miss call from Dave .... asking me want to go out? in the end i went out with Paulyn .... because i want to see Prince Reuben ..... now staying at Paulyn house ...... dun feel like going home at all ..... so stay at her house for today ...... yesterday night i cry to sleep ...... i suddenly feel so so lonely ..... friends around me all got someone to accompany them .... got someone to protect them ..... but for me? i got no one ...... so i must be strong ..... must protect myself ...... cannot cry infront of guys ...... Stephanie Hong ..... you must be strong ...... cannot let anyone look down on you ...... you no need anyone to protect you ......

Stephie is fucking tired la ...... woke up at 9.15am .... meet Liang Bin at 10.15am and went work with him ..... talk non stop in train la ..... reach shop den Jackson when standing outside drink coffee ..... ha ha and Micheal keep saying Kenny and me la ....

Stephie: JACK JACK i wan go home a 3pm ok ?
Jack Jack: OK LA ......
Micheal: Why go home? i plan to ask Kenny come down accompany you?
Stephie: OH DEAR! i dun wan thanks ......

few minutes later Micheal came back again .....

Stephie: Sayang i going back le ....... going 3pm le
Micheal: Why go back now? Kenny coming down find you .....
Stephie: OH GREAT! i am so leaving now la ..... and what with Kenny and me ...... i love my sayang
Micheal: Ha Ha ......

I dunno wat his Ha Ha mean ..... but i know he is joking with me lor ....... frankly speaking ..... i dun think i can love anyone anymore ..... because i got HIM in my heart already .... no one can replace him at all ....... i super hope someone can try to replace him ..... but seem like guy around me all cannot replace him ..... so i will wait .... wait until the right guy come and pull HIM out of my heart ....... but i know the day of HIM getting out of my heart will not come ..... because i swear ..... swear that will love HIM and will not fall in love with other guy =D

Woke up at 6am ..... went mac to have breakfast with my brother after that accompany him to work ..... he work at a Japanese Restaurant which located at Boat Quay .... SO COOL !!!! His boss and chief are Japanese and they are very friendly and cute ..... they thot that i am my brother girlfriend ..... they chat with me until Dave came and pick me up to work .... today stock was a SHOCK!!! the stock came 2 times .... 1 in the morning and the other 1 in the afternoon .... Gibson Shabeer Zhi Xian and i do the stock count until go crazy la ...... after stock count and stock check the worse part came ...... TIE STOCK! anyway today i realise something ...... best friend do use you and some what back stab you without you knowing ..... may be i am too sensitive ..... but my 6 sense tell me that i got back stab and got cheat ...... OH DEAR! think should stay away from that backstabber ...... and now is 2.30am and i just got back from work .... YES WORK! end work at 1am lor ...... tmr FULL SHIFT .... OH DEAR! i am so so death

Now is 3am ..... looking thru my photo folder .... i saw one of my so call best friend or should i say he is my pet ...... miss talking to him .... ha ha dun even think he treat me as friends man ...... but feel weird if i talk to him ....... feel weird very very very weird ....... when night come my feeling all just rush out ........ feel like all guy treat me like spare tyre ...... talk to me when they are sad when they are bored ...... den when i sad i go find them ...... what answer they give me? OMG are you sad ..... dun play lei? that what most of my guy friends tell me ...... i miss many of my friend ..... i think i should just leave them behind because they are just part of my memories ..... i wish i could keep the good wan and leave the back one behind me ......

OK PEOPLE! i now simply going insane la ....... now is 1.30am .... within 2 days i only sleep for 5 hours ....... cannot sleep at all ..... keep thinking of things ...... i asked many people how to forget someone and they tell me fall in love with another someone ....... answer like never answer ..... i am too scare to love another people ..... i scare they will hurt me ....... SWEAR THAT WILL NOT LET ANYONE HURT ME ........ SWEAR THAT ONLY LOVE HIM ..... people around me are all with mask ...... all of them are fake ...... my close friend best friend all fake ....... so i never believe anyone ....... only believe myself ......

Okay woke up at 1.30pm .... went to cut hair .... but not the back part ... because i got no hair to cut any more .... and i just YES JUST quarrel with Dave ..... he say why must i want to be pretty why must i be so ACT .... why i just can't be Stephanie .... the long hair girl with spec and very cute looking girl who will not keep all her feeling to herself ....... not a bitch who talk bad about people include her best friends as well and who leave in a bitch world ...... with super tall wall so that people who wan care for her cannot reach her ..... i got reason behind that bitch girl face ...... she got hurt before ..... she just dun wan to get hurt any more ..... her heart cannot carry another blow ...... she is too bloody weak ...... she also want to be the long hair girl ....... but she cannot .... reality change her ...... had to accept fate anyway ........

Yesterday slept at 3am again .... watch a japan drama .... One Litres of tear ..... super sad and super nice lor ...... today at home the whole day ..... woke up at 2 plus .... den head to TM to had my late lunch with Brother and Dave ..... Zack will be gone on Friday .... he will be going Thailand for 1 weeks with his family ........ holiday ba ....... i ask him to buy many many things for me ....... will be camping at airport on Thursday .......... =D